A Distant Ship’s Smoke on the Horizon

In my early 20s I was very unhappy. I was in a job I hated, in a town I hated. Everything seemed to have gone wrong.

On a whim I signed up for an Outward Bound ‘Survival’ course. I wanted to learn how to survive, and I hoped that it could teach me to be more resilient.

Outward Bound is an organisation that was set up in 1941 by Kurt Hahn and Lawrence Holt in response to a problem from the Royal Navy. Young seamen in boats that had been torpedoed did not survive in their lifeboats; they just gave up hope.

The course I went on was all about how to survive in the open (building bivouacs, lighting fires, map reading), but also looked at the mental approach — knowing what you needed to do to survive.

This included making a plan, keeping a routine, and most importantly not getting introspective. It’s very easy to panic and assume that everything is going to go wrong, but this will paralyze you. What you need to do is to establish steps that you need to take to survive and then thrive, and keep both your mind and body active.

To use the analogy of a desert island: ‘Help will come, but when you see a distant ship’s smoke on the horizon you need to be as alert and strong as possible to be able to signal for help’.

Since then I have been much more resilient. Of course I’ve wobbled when things have gone wrong, but I know that I am not alone, help will come in some form, and that there is a lot I can do to improve my well being in the meantime.

This helped to keep me going in 2001–2 when I was shaken out from a very small digital marketing industry. What I did then was to discover London, to see London as if I was a tourist, and visit the places I’d never been to. I bought two books of walks on eBay and did pretty much every one of them, making a note of pubs that I would visit when I had a job.

One of those walks took me along the Regent’s Canal, from Angel to Hackney, and I still try to do that walk a couple of times a year. Keeping myself busy meant that I got up early in the morning, and so when I did then get a job, at least that side wasn’t a struggle. I knew (hoped) that my unemployment wouldn’t last for ever, and I wanted to use the time as productively as possible.

These techniques for survival feel particularly relevant now, and have so far helped me to stay calm in the current Covid-19 crisis. I’ve made a routine for myself, I’m concentrating on eating well, getting lots of sleep, and being productive both at work and in personal projects.

I’m going for a walk every day after breakfast, before it gets too busy, and really enjoying trying to see if I can (for example) find a tin of tomatoes, or take two interesting photos on my walk.

I am going to try to read all the books that I own that I have never got round to (often Christmas presents, so I can then contact friends to thank them again). I’m going to see how many great films and TV shows I can see — I’ve made a list. & ditto for albums. I’m also working on a podcast — let’s see how that works out.

It really needs to be stressed that there are good days and bad days. Some days you really don’t feel like doing much, and that is ok. You need to do what you need to do, and save things up for when you feel better. You need to know what will cheer you up or distract you until the feeling passes.

But above all you need to make plans for what you are going to do today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and have things to look forward to when this ends. As Ferris Bueller said to Cameron Frye ‘You’re not dying, you just can’t think of anything good to do.’

I am now a much, much happier person than I was in my early 20s, and I am confident that things will improve, but I know that when that smoke appears on the horizon I want to be ready for it, and that I can use the next few weeks and months to make sure that I am.